It’s Not Your Job to Like Me – It’s Mine

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I have heard this question so many times, how to love yourself first? People kept asking me how to build self-esteem, self-confidence, and what they always miss is how you can set yourself as a priority and that depends on how you think about yourself?

Why Is It That We Have Such a Hard Time Loving Ourselves?

Even when we know in our heads we are worthy deserving of love, we don’t feel it in our hearts. We don’t believe it when a loved one says, “You’re beautiful, smart, and capable.” Instead, we believe that little inner voice whispering, “You’re ugly, stupid, and unlovable. You will not be able to achieve what you always wanted.

Do you think it’s crazy when you don’t love yourself? what I find funny most is most of the time We say negative things to ourselves we would never say to those around us, even those we don’t like.
We berate ourselves in ways we’d never consider berating anyone else. We hang on to our failures for years, sometimes for a lifetime, and replay them over and over.

Are You Happy With Who You Are?

It makes me sad to think about all the people in the world who don’t even like themselves, much less love themselves. Maybe you are one of them. I hope not.
But the odds are that some of you reading this would like to trade yourself in for a better model. Or at least trade in parts of yourself.

Maybe you,
don’t love the way you look;
don’t love your personality;
don’t love your lack of (fill in the blank here — intelligence, creativity, motivation);
don’t love your life choices;

Quite often we put ourselves down because of our perceived inability to follow through, achieve goals, earn enough money, or reach a certain level of success.
Much of our self-loathing comes from looking at what others have and viewing ourselves as inadequate because we don’t have it. Most of us wait to love our self until you reach some level of perceived accomplishment, beauty, or perfection.

It’s damned near impossible to become a better person when you are not loving yourself for the person you are.

Who Do You Choose to Be?

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Every thought that comes into your mind, every word you speak, every step you take comes from either love or fear. I could go on and on about the reasons we don’t love ourselves. Our tortured childhoods, our devastating relationships, the lack of opportunities or luck, the less-than-perfect body or face we’ve been given. These things all may be true. They may feel painfully real.

When we don’t feel worthy and can’t accept our flaws and weaknesses, we either shove down our feelings (which manifests in depression and anxiety), or we express them in unhealthy ways (through anger, passive-aggressive behaviors).

What does it mean to think good about yourself? Having self-love has often been confused with being self-centered or arrogant. When we have a negative view of our self-worth, we compromise our relationships and every other part of our lives. We simply can’t function at an optimal level and fulfill our potential for happiness and success.


How to Accept Where You Are at in Your Life (Even Though It Suck)

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Loving yourself is so difficult because the world often doesn’t reflect back to us what we’d like to believe about ourselves. We may accept the concept that we are worthy of. We encounter criticism, comparisons, and judgments.

We are told we aren’t good enough, and eventually, we believe it. We’ve forgotten how to trust ourselves and rely on our own beliefs and judgments. Instead, we look to others to build us up and manufacture our self-esteem. If others don’t like the person we are, we struggle to become someone else who meets the world’s approval.

With all of these challenges undermining our efforts for worthiness. In order to embrace our true worthiness, we have to learn new ways of thinking and responding to the input we receive from the world around us. Examine your own values. Define your integrity. Get clear on what YOU believe, what kind of person you want to be, and how you want to live your life. 

Be Unafraid to Express Yourself

Create your own personal operating system for life, without relying on what others think is best for you. Think of yourself as your own best friend. Begin to taking charge and talking to your wounded self.

As your higher self, think or speak only the words that you would say to your best friend in times of crisis or self-doubt. Remember If you don’t love yourself, you don’t respect yourself. If you don’t value yourself for who you are, no one will. You are the most important person in your life; don’t forget that. You are incredible. You’re unique, beautiful, pure and you should travel through life with that perspective. Fall in love with life, love, freedom, and independence, fall in love with yourself.

Have some fire, Be unstoppable. Be better than anyone here, and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place. Everything happens for a reason. You deserve the very best life full of love.

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Ayesha Siddiqa
Ayesha Siddiqa
I am a passionate mental health advocate and a final year Bachelor’s student in psychology. I talk about personal growth, parental issues, women rights, transgender rights, social issues, and mental health.

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