Some things are better one-sided, for example, a piece of cake you don’t want to share, your clothes/hairbrush. But a relationship? it is a two-way street right?. Whether it is in friendship or a romantic relationship, one-sided relationships can suck and what you may experience is not ‘normal’, it is toxic.
The quality of these relationships can make you feel so drained and empty, as you constantly feel that you are walking on eggshells and that you can ‘fix’ the relationship or change the other person. You may also notice that you have to be put in a spot to ‘justify’ these relationships to other people and make them feel that you are not in a ‘wrong’ one to protect yourself or your friend/partner as a coping mechanism.
Here are 7 Signs of a One-sided Relationship
1. You Give More Than You Receive
Relationships are two-sided, it is okay for one person to be more giving in the relationship, as relationships are not scoreboards, however, it is equally important that the other person puts efforts into the relationship and is not always the one receiving. If all the initiating is from one end, whether it is emotionally or physically, it might be a red flag.
2. You Are Not Heard / Understood
If you are in a one-sided relationship, you may find that your partner/friend is always the one talking and not understanding or respecting your viewpoint. You may constantly feel that your voice is not heard and that you are always ‘wrong’ in all discussions. Healthy relationships are safe spaces where both can express their viewpoints freely, however, one-sided relationships lack healthy boundaries.
3. Your Dreams / Accomplishments Are Not Supported or Celebrated
If you are in a one-sided relationship, you may second-guess yourself quite often. You feel that your partner/friend is not very encouraging about your dreams and is not excited or happy about your victories. You feel insecure and depleted in the relationship.
4. Your Emotional and Mental Needs Are Unmet, but You Are Their Go-to Person
You find yourself constantly changing your plans, sacrificing your needs, and compromising on your goals, however, your partner/friend does not do the same for you. You are their go-to person and always have to be available for them, even if it’s at 2 am. They have too many expectations from you but you are not allowed to have any. If you ask something from them then they tag you as ‘demanding’ or ‘selfish’.
5. The Other Person Dominates the Conversation
Your partner/friend is always the one to have the last word in any conversation. His/her calendar takes the center-stage and everything is about them. You feel minimized and find yourself submitting to his/her wishes and needs. This is a red flag and needs your attention.
6. They Make It Look Like It is Always Your Fault
Sure, sometimes you are at fault. But if you are the one apologizing every time, you need to look deeper into the relationship. They may always blame you and play the victim role to manipulate you. This is unhealthy and a red flag.
7. They Talk to You Only When It is Convenient for Them
In one-sided relationships the other person is not invested as you are, they talk to you only when it is convenient for them and may dismiss your feelings of wanting connection, by indirectly telling you that you are too clingy. There is a fine line between being clingy and being concerned and wanting connection.
If you find yourself agreeing to the above points then you may be in a one-sided relationship. The next step would be to identify and recognize more loveless patterns and decide accordingly as to how you want to proceed with it.
Also Read: 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship
You are not at fault for wanting your needs met and having basic expectations from your relationships. Healthy relationships do not make you doubt yourself or make you feel inadequate. They make you feel happy and whole, not insecure and incomplete.