I was in a 9-year-long relationship and spent the entire youth being in love with a person who did not take a stand for me when it came to telling our parents. I was shattered to the ground and broke up never to return to that woman ever.
Well, 9 years is not a child’s play for sure but and coming out of it needed me a lot of time. Though I was out of the relationship, I had this feeling – the constant feeling of texting my ex.
And I actually ended up doing what I wasn’t supposed to. With my personal experience and having a fair understanding of what others go through committing the same mistake, you can consider the below-mentioned before texting your ex.
You have moved on – do you still want to do that?
It has been some time that you have already made that decision to part ways. Why would you want to go back and send a text to the person that actually made a difference in your life? It is even worthy of sending that ‘hi’ to that person and starting that conversation again?
You are losing your self-respect – remember that
I don’t know how things ended in your relationship but majorly they don’t end on a very good note. Sending a text to your ex would be more like keeping aside your self-respect and letting them hit it even harder on your respect. Why give them an opportunity to hurt you all over again?
You are worthy – for someone way better
This is something I personally understand because I found the woman who loves me unconditionally and we have been married for more than a year now. I am absolutely in love and I don’t want this feeling to end anymore. You too are a worthy human being. Once separated from the person, you can take it as a sign from the universe that you have something way better in your destiny.
He/she is not the one who brings happiness in your life – you do
You are the one that you should be responsible for raising the bar of your happiness and nobody else. You might temporarily feel that your partner brings all the joy in your life and when he/she went away, things seem dull – but that’s nothing like that. It is you who is letting them overpower your happiness.
You are not going to get anything in return
When the only person whom you thought will be standing with you holding you up abandons you and gives you a cold shoulder, should you go back to him/her? You might just be sending that simple ‘hi’, but the reply from the other side is uncertain and you don’t know how it all may end up. You might feel stunned by the reply or regret the same instantly and more probable reactions/outcomes.
The loneliness is not here to stay – forever
That feeling when you break up – it is beyond any words, beyond any explanation. It looks like the world is ending and you are almost on the verge of dying. But do you literally die? That feeling is exceptionally painful but it will not last a lifetime. Just remember that and you would be able to hold up yourself better. The loneliness will fade away as soon as you get your mind on things that make you happy and start doing them.
You will find someone who’s worthy of you
This is as I had mentioned and it is the undeniable truth that cannot be changed. When you lose a partner because of the mishaps that are controllable, you certainly stumble upon people who have been destined to stay with you, love you and support you through the end of time. That person would have all the time for you in the world, would not bear to see you cry, celebrate your happiness and be madly in love with you.
Your curiosity about their life is none of your business
I didn’t mention it earlier but I did text my ex and she was kind to me. For a flip second I thought that things would go back on track but little did I know that she had already moved on and was dating someone else. Most of you might be very curious about how things are on the other end, have they started dating someone or are still waiting for you and more. But does all this matter? In case you want to end up hurting yourself, you can very well go ahead and text them and end up crying and wetting that pillow.
Forgive but don’t forget
I have always heard that one must forgive and forget the people who hurt us but when it comes to love, I say forgive but don’t forget. Forgiving would free-up the space that the person has been occupying in your mind and soul but forgetting would increase the chances of falling for the same mistake. Don’t forget what the person did because if you do – you will not be able to judge the person coming next in your life.
Every experience is an experience whether good or bad – learn from it
You must not regret that you put your faith in that person who left you for nothing. What happened with you was a part of a learning experience for the future and believe in that. Just accept the fact that it was not yours to have and don’t regret any of it because you learned a lot from the relationship.
Be open to love
Don’t shut yourself from the love around. You send a text definitely means that you haven’t closed the door opening to the person and have shut all the others for sure. Things have ended. Accept it and move on by opening yourself to love. For sure you would need time to heal but don’t sulk in the past but look for a brighter future.